What inspired you to write this book?

I wrote it for the most simple reason: I wanted to tell my story. I thought what I learned through my experience was worth sharing, because maybe there is someone out there who is living with their own Nate, and I wanted to give that person hope and support. I also thought I could simply entertain, because sometimes you really can’t make this s**t up, and Nate and I had such a real life, rainbows and butterflies romance that all went so spectacularly south.

In my mind’s eye, I was telling the story to a mythical listener – a very close, old friend who I don’t manage to see nearly enough. We’re in her living room late on a Saturday night, and we’ve cracked the second bottle of wine. Even though we haven’t seen each other for years, the real, true conversation just falls out of us, and we’re catching up about everything that’s happened.

What was the most challenging part of writing the book?

I thought that the most challenging part would be writing the book at all, but actually, it turned out to be structuring.

The process itself came naturally. I am very much a creature of habit, so I established a new one. I got up early, brewed a press pot of coffee, and wrote for 30 minutes before heading out to work. I didn’t know what I’d write about on any given day; I let the subject matter choose me. In the end I organized all the sub-essays into something I thought would work.

But it kind of didn’t. I had all these snippets. I had the facts and essays of what I learned or thought about. They didn’t weave together naturally. Then I discovered the magic of having a good editor who could tell you whether you're going in the right direction or not. My editor transformed the book.

How did you find your editor?

I used the Internet. I googled “best memoir editor”. I know it's trite, but it actually worked. For each editor candidate, I had the list of what else they had edited, and if they had done something close to my type of book, I followed up. I had a few back-and-forth email discussions with several editors, and I went with the one who's writing style and whose answers I liked the best.I am delighted with my choice.

My editor took a really crappy first draft and helped me turn it into a less crappy second draft. You might still say the final product is crappy, but I promise it’s a long way from where it started.

What do you hope readers will take away from the book?

I hope readers will find strength from the book. I hope readers find one thing that makes them think or gives them a new perspective. I hope readers will laugh and have at least one “milk out nose” moment.I hope readers will feel like they are not alone.

What are you working on next?

I’m going to write about the other part of my life, the one about being a woman leader in a string of Silicon Valley technology firms. Many of the lessons I learned from Nate translate well from the living room to the conference room. Similarly, many of the lessons I’ve learned from being a mom translate well to managing teams – and visa versa! (Although I confess that my children have told me that they sometimes worry I’m going to manage them out for non-performance.)

I will hope for the same result: I hope readers will find strength, read one thing that makes them think, and have at least one “milk out nose” moment of laughter. And I hope readers will feel like they are not alone.

Is there advice that you would give to aspiring authors?

The advice I would give to aspiring authors is to not be intimidated about the concept of writing a book. Don’t think, just do. Write one paragraph, then one page, then five pages. Don’t look too far ahead, just be consistent. Also, let yourself off the hook if it doesn’t come out the way you want it to. Time is on your side.